[First, "My Amanto Idea" contest. The winner is Noriko Mach.]
[Gintoki tripped on his scooter in the opening and brought it to Gengai for repair...]
Oh, you fixed it up good as new.
You're amazing.
Piece o' cake!
[Mechanic's Shop]
Who do you think I am?
A wanted criminal.
You enjoy pecking at a man's wounds, huh?
I'm just kidding.
I'm getting you back for pecking at my scooter's wounds.
Thought I'd dig into your wounds too...
I was repairing it!!
Thanks a lot, old man.
Just the kind of work I'd expect from Edo's number one mechanic, Gengai Hiraga.
I'm glad you realize that.
So about the payment...
Well, if anything pops up again, I'll be counting on you, Doc. Mechanics.
[Note: Spoof of manga Yoroshiku Mechadoc (Mechanical Doctor).]
Now about the bill...
See'ya.
Um...the bill...
Damn you, old man!
You tampered with it, didn't you?
When the money gives out, so does the love.
Hey! You all right?
What the hell are you doing, involving innocent bystanders?
If you hadn't booby-trapped my tire, this wouldn't have happened!
You okay, Miss?
I'm fine.
It was a minor collision.
You're fine?!
But you're covered with blood!
No, I'm really okay.
I really do need to keep going.
Going where?
Are you nuts?! No way, no way!
The only place you're going is to the morgue!!
Hang in there!
My scooter...
Just hurry up and give me a scooter.
I...If I don't keep riding... If I can't feel the wind...
I'll die...
What's with her?
["For the Wind Is the Life"]
Noriko Mach.
Born on Planet Highspeed.
Occupation: Express Messenger.
I've heard rumors about them, but I had no idea such an obnoxious clan actually existed.
Don't talk about us like that.
We are the noble people of the wind. We're honorable wind spirits!
We are delicate, nymph-like beings that have to
feel the wind at all times or we lose our bodies.
So what are you saying?
That you have to keep running all the time?!
Kinda like sharks that die if they're not constantly swimming?
No, as long as we're riding any form of locomotion like a scooter that allows us to feel the wind.
Running on my own is a bit tiring.
Go run on your own!
Why the hell do I have to be your scooter?
I...I'm in pain.
I'm sorry, but can you go a little faster?
Who do you think is in the most pain here?
We can't make an injured girl run.
I'm almost done fixing your scooter.
I'm sorry for causing trouble.
Since I can't do anything, I'll sing "Sarai."
[Note: A famous song written for the TV show "24 hour TV, Love will Save the Earth." It lasts 24 hours and the song is sung at the end.]
So you want me to keep running for 24 hours?
Um, could you fix that piece of junk later and repair mine first?
I have to go to work...
Hey, what do you mean, "piece of junk"?
Your scooter was seriously wrecked, so it's going to take longer to fix.
Why don't you take his scooter instead?
What do you mean, "instead"?
That's my scooter, you know.
But can you ride a scooter with those injuries?
Yes, I can.
There are people waiting for me to deliver their packages.
Besides, this is my first job on Earth.
Someone like me can't get a decent job.
This is the only thing I can do.
I have to make this work!
I swore to myself that I would become the best express messenger in the entire cosmos!
Please put me down!
I don't have time to be fooling around here.
You're the one who wanted the piggyback ride.
I don't have time to hang out with slackers like you!
Hurry, let me down-
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you help me with my job, too...
That's okay.
When you think about it, it was my fault.
So where to first?
Let's do this quickly so we can get it over with.
The wind feels so good!!
Try and stop me!!
Hey, you listening?
Somebody just try and stop me!!
What the hell are you doing?!
You're an idiot.
A complete idiot.
Hurry up and get on. This side!
Don't stop! Don't stop!
I can't help it. There's nothing I can do.
Just hang in there. We'll be going soon, okay?
Soon?
No! I can't take it anymore!
I can't stand it!
Hey... Watch out...
This is amazing, Sakata-san!
The wind! We've become the wind!
W-Wait. No... Time out!
I have to get off. Please let me get off.
I so did not see this coming!
What do you mean?!
We still haven't even made a single delivery!
I know. We haven't made a single delivery and things are already completely out of control!
It's like that movie where the teacher tells the students
[Note: Spoof of "Battle Royale"]
to kill each other at their school entrance ceremony!
Besides, how are you going to deliver the parcels if you can't even stop?!
Here we go.
One down. Next is...
You call that delivery?
I call it terrorism.
The messenger...is late.
I'm pretty sure it was supposed to come today.
My O-Edo squadron GinTaman action figure set, the JUMP free subscription gift.
It's only while supplies last so if I don't get it now then I'll never...
Huh? What's all this junk...?
So what do you want from me now?
Calling me like this...
You and I have been over for a long time.
You don't have to say it like that.
I just called because I was worried you weren't eating right...
I don't need to have someone who walked out on me worry about me.
I'm hanging up.
Wait!
Dear...
Do you know what today is...?
Oh no, never mind.
If you have no business with me, don't call.
Bye.
Why would he remember...
...that today is our wedding anniversary?
What am I doing?
I'm the one who walked out on him...
Excuse me! Delivery service!
Impossible! Could it be...?
Hatsu...
[Happy Anniversary]
Here's to our tenth wedding anniversary.
So what do you think? We're almost done, right?
Great! Only one package left.
If I may say so myself, we did a pretty good job.
We can't help it if some of the parcels were damaged.
Yeah, we did a good job.
You in the speeding scooter!
Stop immediately!
Shut up!
If I could stop, I would've done it a long time ago!
We're going to become the wind.
Huh? Hey Master Gin, what's up?
You on a date?
Oh, it's you.
I'm in a bit of trouble here!
Help...
Hey, he's a friend of mine.
Let him go.
W-Wait. Help me.
Oh yeah, Master, this delivery date of yours looks like fun, but be careful, okay?
Lately, there's been some terrorist activity by the exclusionist rebels.
They have been using messengers to deliver their bombs.
They have this vicious scheme where they make
innocent messengers deliver bombs to embassies and such.
So be careful, okay?
See'ya.
Noriko, where does that last parcel go to?
The embassy.
Is it making weird noises?
It's ticking. Like a clock.
I see...
Hey, Sakata-san, what are you doing?
If we stop, I'll die!
We're gonna die anyway!
It's a bomb.
That's a bomb!
Let's just pull over for a second.
We'll just stop for a bit.
When I get off the scooter, start running, okay?
I'm telling you, if we stop, I'll die.
Who cares about that anymore?
I don't wanna die any more than you!
So you're going to let me blow up alone?
I thought we were partners!
Didn't you promise me we'd become the wind together?
Like hell I did, you fool!
I hear when people die they become the wind anyways.
So let's pull over!
No!
I don't want it to be an explosive blast.
I prefer a refreshing breeze!
It came off!
The brake broke off!!
Hey! The handle!
Damn old man, talk about a half-ass repair job.
Gin, Gin.
Come in please.
This is Gengai.
Come in please.
A radio?
It doesn't seem to be working.
I can't hear you so I'm gonna keep talking.
That old geezer... If he had the time to install this, then he should've fixed the damn brakes!
I forgot to warn you about something.
I should've fixed the brakes instead of installing that radio.
That's all.
It's just a confession!
Don't use the radio for stupid stuff like that!
Knowing you, I'm sure the brakes are already gone.
When that happens, you see a red button on the bottom?
That's an emergency mechanism activation switch.
If you push it...
The rocket booster will kick in and give you a dramatic burst of speed.
So whatever you do, don't push it.
You could've said that part first!!
The wind!
This is no time to be excited!
We're the wind!
I'll never be able to get off now!
What should I do?
Edo's specialty, the traffic jam!
Is this how it ends?
Gin...
Knowing you, you've screwed the pooch and activated the rocket booster.
When that happens, there's a red button inside the speedometer case...
Who the hell cares?!
Whatever happens, happens.
Old geezer!!
Damn it. I'll curse you from the afterlife!
All right!!
Sakata-san, we did it!
We're flying!
Not bad, old man... Not bad.
I'm the wind!
Now we can fly somewhere safe and ditch the bomb.
We did it!!
Oh gosh... This is the first time I've felt such a delicious breeze.
Thank you, Sakata-san.
To tell you the truth... I...didn't think I had the confidence to make it in Edo.
I may not have it yet, but thanks to you, I feel like I can succeed.
Even someone like me can accomplish something if I work really hard.
Is that so?
You may be right. The wind's not such a bad thing after all...
Gin...
Knowing you, you haven't heeded any of my warnings and resorted to the flight feature.
But let me warn you.
That mechanism uses up a lot of energy.
Your scooter won't be able to stay airborne for very long.
It'll probably explode in about a minute.
Dear Saito-san of Tokyo.
I do get depressed at times, but I'm doing well.
[Note: Spoof of "Kiki's Delivery Service".]
I love this town.
Who's the target?
Heihachiro Kuroda, a doctor at Oedo Hospital.
[Dango Café]
Looks like he's involved in organ trafficking.
He finds a healthy patient, slits them open and steals their organs.
He's a real devil.
A devil.
Real devils are people like us who kill other people for money.
That's true.
Will you become a devil once again to save the weak?
Only devils can eliminate other devils.
If I can save others, I'm happy to get a little blood on my hands.
["The Ideal Girlfriend Is Always Minami"]
By the way, I want to ask you something.
Do you have a boyfriend right now?
Wh-what?
It's just that you smell more like a woman these days.
It's your imagination. What is this? Sexual harassment?
Whatever you say.
I've been around people like you for a long time.
Those who are married or have girlfriends are the ones who end up dead first.
Once you start developing any feelings for a person, this business will eat you alive.
[O-Edo Hospital]
Be careful your passions don't get the better of you. It could trip you up. Be careful, okay?
Gin-san, I'll be okay, right?
After all, these feelings for you aren't some fleeting infatuation.
Lately, all I can think about is you.
I can't even concentrate on my work.
This is no schoolgirl crush.
I'll be fine.
Huh? Is it really okay?
No, it's okay.
The important thing is knowing when to turn it on and off.
When I work, I'll work to death.
And when I love, I'll love to death.
That kind of attitude will enrich my life.
Hey, newbie!
It's common sense to turn your cell phone off in the hospital!
Are you stupid?
Turn it off before I turn you off, okay?!
I'm sorry, Head Nurse!!
That's right. It's time to turn off "Sachan the lovestruck pig."
And turn on "Sachan the killer".
Sakata-san, how many times have you been hospitalized already?
What is it this time?
My scooter exploded and I fell 30 meters into a river.
They say only death can cure stupidity, but you sure won't die, huh?
Doctor, isn't a doctor's job to care for both the patient's body and mind?
Mine are both in shreds.
"Lovestruck Pig" mode.
On!
Gin-san!!
You're on my legs! You're on my legs!
You're stepping on my legs!
Gin-san, why? This is...terrible!
What happened? Are you okay?
Doctor, he's okay, right?
Gin-san is going to be okay, right?
You'll fix it, right?
His hair!
So all you care about is the hair?!
This condition is called "Comedic Post-Explosion Hair".
After two or three scenes, it should return to normal like nothing ever happened, so don't worry.
No! I want you to fix it in this scene.
Who cares about that?
Get back to work, newbie!
Your patient's over here!
Okay, time for your medication.
Come on, Sarutobi-san, rub the medicine on him.
Oh, thank you.
It's been killing me since yesterday and I can't stand it...
My hemorrhoids.
"Killer" mode, on!
So what are you doing here?
What's going on?
You want to know about me, little boy?
Then you can't rush it.
If you want to get to know a woman, take your time.
Gently, one layer at a time...
Oh, never mind then.
Well, I wasn't quite finished yet.
Don't bother. It's too much trouble
What am I doing?
I said the important thing is knowing when to turn it on and off,
but when Gin-san's in front of me, I just go on auto-pig.
I must quickly switch over to "Killer" mode.
Now that I think about it, what's so great about this guy anyway?
I like sadistic men who'll brutally ravish me.
Who wants a sissy Gin-san that's so...
Weak...
Come to think of it,
Waki-san told me that men can't resist girls who are nice to them when they're down.
She also told me they have a weakness for Minami-chan from Touch.
[Note: Touch is a manga by Mitsuru Adachi. Minami was one of the main female characters]
"Lovestruck Pig" mode, on!
Oh come on, Gi-chan. You're always so grumpy.
If you keep acting like that, I might leave you for another man, okay?
Go wherever you want.
And while you're out, go buy me JUMP from the store downstairs.
I might go to Moscow, okay?
I may be Minami-chan, but I may even go north, okay?
[Note: In Japanese, Minami also means south.]
I don't think they sell JUMP in Moscow.
Actually, I figured hospital food doesn't taste very good...
Minami... I mean, Sachan brought you some homemade food.
You want some?
Oh, what should I do? Should I give you some?
I'm not sure why, but I feel like punching her lights out.
Ta-da!
Can you believe, it's oden!
[Note: Oden is a Japanese Winter dish made from boiled eggs, daikon, konjac gel, fish cakes and other ingredients stewed in a pot.]
Ah, hot, hot!
Why would you bring a pot of boiling hot oden to someone who can't move?
And is that deep-fried tofu?
I thought you would be starved for some home cooking, okay?
Do you have to keep saying "Okay"?
Don't tell the other patients, okay?
Oh man, I saw everything.
Maybe I'll tell the head nurse?
Okay, Gi-chan, lie down for a second now, okay?
I'm going to change your bandages, okay?
It's okay.
I just had them changed.
Oh, come on. Don't be shy, okay?
I told you, it's okay.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Oh stop, Gi-chan. Don't move, okay?
See? You moved...
...so look what happened, okay?
How exactly could I be responsible for that?
You tied that bondage harness yourself? Amazing, isn't it?
I like that part of you that refuses to be tied down, okay?
But I am worried about your injuries...
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
...so I should tie you up, okay?
What the hell are you doing?
Head Nurse! Help me!
Hang on.
I'll call the head nurse right now...
I'm going to go to the gift shop now.
What was it, now?
You wanted me to buy Sunday, right?
I'll be right back, okay?
Have you ever heard of the movie, "Misery?"
The injured author who can't move
gets crippled by the psychotic caretaker who is supposedly there to take care of him.
Man, that was really scary.
That lady actress was so believable.
W-Wait a sec!
Pull the candle out!
You pull it out.
Why should I do it?
I can't do it.
It's so painful. If I do it, I'm afraid something important will come out with it!
You keeping your hopes and dreams in there?
Gin-chan!
How are you doing?
We've come to cheer you up!!
Gin-chan, you idiot!
Oh man, our bad.
I'll explain that kind of thing to Kagura-chan.
No, wait! It's not what you think!
I'm not into stuff like that!!
What "things"?!
What am I gonna do now?
Even if I explain it when I get home, it's still gonna be really awkward.
Sorry about that.
I'll go with you and explain.
Forget it! That'll be even more suspicious!
Just don't ever stand in the same scene as me again!
Well, whatever the case may be, right now...
We'd better get the hell outta here.
Well, well, if it isn't Sakata-san and Hattori-san.
Patients aren't allowed to crawl about unsupervised.
This is so much more fun than my real job.
Women should live for love and not for work.
Maybe I'll retire from this gory assassin job and really become a nurse.
I'll just be Gin-san's exclusive personal nurse.
Did you hear?
About Dr. Kuroda?
Is it really true?
I heard he's involved in organ trade.
Yeah, and you know those noisy patients in the hospital right now?
Oh yeah, you mean Sakata-san and Hattori-san.
Well apparently, they're his next targets.
That's not so bad. It'll sure be a lot quieter around here.
Oh my God! Gin-san!
Hey, you!
It's all my fault!
It's because I was slacking on the job!
Be careful your passions don't get the better of you.
It could trip you up. Be careful, okay?
What am I doing?
All this foolish talk about love and being in love...
We've done a complete medical workup on both of you
and found severe internal problems.
Sakata-san, you're at high risk for diabetes yet you continue to eat sweets.
Oh yeah, I've gotten to the point where
I've decided that I'll live a thick, rich, creamy life, however short.
Take a look at this.
Never mind already. It's not gonna scare me.
I'm used to hearing stuff like that. You can't scare me one bit.
If this keeps up, the sugar and urine in your body will become a deadly mix
and your testicles will explode.
No way!
There's...nothing I can do to protect him?
Don't tell me I can't even protect the one I care about the most.
And as for you, Hattori-san.
It seems you came here to treat your hemorrhoids.
Yes, as embarrassing as it is, I'll do my best.
Well, about that...
At the rate you're going...
Something...will explode.
That's kinda random, isn't it?
I don't care about Zenzo.
God, I really am a totally useless...
...lovestruck pig.
Just a plain ol' lovestruck pig.
That's not true...
I'm not a lovestruck pig...
I'm not...a lovestruck pig...
I'm...
I'M!
Killer mode, ON!
What fools.
To believe a load of crap like that...
What imbeciles!
At this rate, your brains are totally useless.
But the other organs are exceptional.
It'll be better for the world if we give them to people who can put them to good use.
Let's begin.
Is everything ready?
Yes.
Scalpel.
Yes.
Wh...What do you think you're doing?
Doctor!!
You!! What the hell are you doing?
I'm sorry. I dropped my glasses.
So I tend to confuse the words "Scalpel" and "Shank".
You bitch!
Who the hell are you?
The bells of Gion Temple ring for you...
"All is vanity" toll the bells....
[Note: A famous opening passage from the historical novel, "Tale of Heike".]
Wh-What the heck is this?
The brutal devil...
Bandages?
...delivers a righteous deathblow.
Take care.
Assassin Sachan...has arrived!!
Gin-san!! Gin-san...
Where are you?
Are you all right?
Gin-san!!
Thank goodness!
I can't see anything without my glasses, but you're okay, right?
I'm sorry...
It's all my fault...
I...was warned that love would interfere with my work.
But I still couldn't get you out of my mind, Gin-san.
But this is what I think...
An assassin who has someone she wants to protect
is more motivated than one who has no one.
That's why, I won't change my ways...
And I'll always...
...keep thinking of you, Gin-san...
Huh?
Killer mode, on!
The next episode, summer ghost stories...
"Like a Haunted House, Life is Filled with Horrors."
[This year's ghosts will be done by Odd Jobs. It will be thrilling in many ways.]
[This is Ochi-san, who will risk his life, at the summer festival's Haunted House.]